Rewind the clock. Backward. Glimpse into what might have been. The 'if onlys'. Not the regrets. Nor the shoulda-woulda-coulda insights. No. None of that. Just select the Reset button. Double-click on Restore Defaults. Defrag the hard drive so to speak. Shake it out. Clear my head. Polish the rose colored glasses. Sand the cracking lens. Refocus. Swallow to remove the persistent lump in my throat.
These past few months have been doozies. In fact the prior half year. Winter blahs. Flooding basement. Shrinking wallet. Feigned smiles. Energized only by my writings. My musings. My dreams. Not quite knowing how I will pull it off. Reaching deep inside for the energies to refashion my life. Quiet the storm. Reimagine the possibilities.
Now my right knee is crippling my daily strolls with my beloved Bailey through our village neighborhood and climbs up the curved stairs with very narrow steps built by out of work ship carpenters in the mid 19th century to my bedroom. My spirit is also crippled with the inability to perambulate freely in or out of the house.
The good news? That proverbial silver lining I seek in every life trial? I cannot get to the kitchen as often! I have dropped ten pounds. No exercise!
Weather.com forecasts sun for tomorrow. With mild breezes in the high 50s. Now that lightens my mood considerably. Anyway ... too much introspection makes Alice a dull and tiresome girl.
Thursday will be cheerier. N'est-ce pas?
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There will be down days....there will be up days....there will be up and down days. But there will be no day which lived just for itself that is the same as the day before or a day 20-30-40 years before. When I think of each day as a research experiment as opposed to a serotonin driven failure or success, the answer is always simple... it worked or it didn't and I can try a new experiment tomorrow. I'm sorry you had the blues and I'm sorry about your knee. Moods, money, relationships, age and body parts often conspire to drag me down. I had my knee fixed several years ago....3 little holes and I was back on my feet sans crutches in three days. As for the rest, I continue to experiment and I'm feeling close to a big discovery.....way big. I'll keep you posted.
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ReplyDeleteOops...I goofed with my posts. It printed the same one twice so I deleted the 2nd one.
ReplyDeleteI fell for your Martini pic, and am considering having your title tatooed on my thigh with a lemon slice.
ReplyDeleteThere is a dim cloud that arrives with the chill...it's fading now, slowly. Almost time to switch from vodka to tequila.
I envy your ability to find the silver. I'm usually left sifting through copper...